Commitment and Fairy Tales - South Dade News Leader: Opinion

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Commitment and Fairy Tales

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Posted: Friday, July 6, 2018 9:51 am

Walk in my Shoes with Doris Meneses

This past weekend we traveled to Jacksonville for our nephew’s wedding. It was a beautiful wedding in a lovely church with the reception held at the Casa Marina in Jacksonville Beach, Fl. Family and friends gathered to celebrate this young love and their commitment to each other and to the sacrament of marriage. These two millennials, a Hispanic young man and an Asian woman, were joined as one.

I found out with this event that weddings planned by millennials are done in a new way. To start off with, there was only one communication via regular mail and then everything was handled through the internet and e-mail. For the invitation, hotel information, RSVP’s to the wedding, schedule, etc., one was directed to the website, The Knot. It was there that everything was laid out and where you responded, found the dress code for the day, pictures of the happy couple and their cat and more confusing, the schedule of events.

Yes, the millennials had planned out a schedule down to the minute of when what was going to happen. Everything had its place and time. 1:50 Bus #1 pickup from hotel to church. 3:00 Wedding ceremony begins and then it gave a rundown…entrance, liturgy of the word, first reading, etc. down to dismissal. 3:45 wedding ceremony ends and then it went on for the reception…when who gives what speech, what toast, meal, first dance, dance with mother, dance with father and what time the reception ended. I was a little upset that I didn’t see “potty break” on the schedule!

As far as the gift registry, this was also on the site as well and it linked you to the different options. Attendees could choose many different options including flights to different places, hotel stays, dinners, etc. for their honeymoon.

I mean…what is this world coming to? What happened to regular stores?

All this planning and thinking you have all your ducks in a row for the marriage and then the big question comes up…Will the marriage last?

Years ago, getting divorced was a shameful thing. Nowadays it does not seem to phase anyone. Why? What has changed that we do not bat an eye when divorce happens?

Is it because years ago, a woman was supposed to stay with a man no matter what? Women did stay in physically and emotionally abusive relationships and kept it hush hush. Women put up with alcoholics and cheating. After all, marriage was a respected sacrament and no one wanted to break that union. For those reasons, divorce needed to happen but often did not.

Although I do believe that some divorces should happen as women and men should not put up with adultery or abuse, etc., I also believe that in today’s world, divorce is taken to be the easy way out and many do not look at marriage as a life-long commitment.

No one wants to work hard and this is also true of working hard to keep a marriage together. People think that once they are married, their Prince Charming or Cinderella has come and life is going to be “happily ever after.” Ha! Double ha at this!

Life happens and I hate to bust their bubble but planning the wedding was the easy part! The day you get married, the real work starts. After a while, your Prince Charming or Cinderella will be seen through a different light once the rose-colored glasses come off. Prince Charming may leave his underwear on the floor or toothpaste in the sink and guess what? Cinderella may fart or chew food with her mouth open!

In addition to life, the seven dwarfs happen! Well maybe not 7 but a few or at least one will happen and Prince Charming or Cinderella now must take a back seat to the little one. Now Cranky, Hungry, Poopy, Gassy, Sleepy, Smiley and Colicky create havoc within the home and need all of Prince Charming’s or Cinderella’s attention and the spouse can just forget being first in line until the seven dwarfs are out of the house…um, if you are lucky…18 years!

The conclusion? If the millennials make more than just plans to survive the wedding day and plan for good times and bad…learning to forgive and forget over all the disagreements, misunderstandings, pouts, silent treatments and plan for in sickness and health…with cancer, strokes, heart issues, surgery, etc., they will find that it is well worth the fight, work and planning to hang in there.

Then…and only then, they just might find their, (cue the love music and angels flying above) “And they lived happily ever after.

The End.”

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